One of the great challenges of life is to stay optimistic. It seems to be the human condition that even when life is good our natural tendency is to try and seek out the “dark side” of our lives. Often when the environment turns against us, our ability to carry the torch of optimism seems further dimmed. How do some individuals always display that infectious love of life, while other constantly look for ways to demean and degrade? Perhaps the answers lay in two simple words…choice and accountability.
Throughout life we all are given the opportunity to make choices. Granted some choices are more painful than others, and very often we create situations where the choices seem to be between two terrible circumstances. Frequently when we are young we make choices based on inexperience and lack of perspective. Hopefully as we get older and more experienced, and have greater choices to make, we broaden our perspective and collectively learn from our successes and failures, and make improved choices. Sometimes when we struggle with the choices we make, we may find ourselves trying to place the burden on someone other than ourselves and optimism vanishes.
While coaching women's collegiate basketball, I started each year talking to the team about dealing with a myriad of issues and how I could help them in the choices and consequences of being collegiate athletes. I would often provide them with an envelope that contained two Tylenol and a small hand mirror, and point out that many of life's dilemmas could be solved by taking the Tylenol for the minor pain, and looking in the mirror to view the person that may be responsible for the problem … and the solution. I believe this same lesson could be applied in our lives as we seek out the silver linings and the rainbows instead of the pessimistic and the doubt.
I have heard the argument throughout my life that if you lower your expectations then you never have to deal with the disappointments. This may be true for the average person and the non believer. It certainly is the path of least resistance and therefore very appealing to many. As educators, dealing with disappointments and staying positive, is part of what we should be teaching students, not lowering our expectations so that very little if anything is achieved. History is chock-full of examples of mediocre expectations and non achievement to avoid failure or pain. Conversely, history is also full of monumental accomplishment because of high expectations and positive, constructive, and encouraging attitudes.
We are reshaping our mind-set at UH Hilo athletics and while old habits die slowly, if they can be replaced by refreshing, achievable results, letting go of the old attitude is not quite as painful. While we may fail in some objectives along the way, we will learn from our failures and find other opportunities to succeed, and on our toughest and darkest days we just need to take a Tylenol, look in the mirror, and avoid the cauldron of pessimism.
